That is a critical question, because when you dare to answer it honestly and firmly, you are deciding about the rest of your life. And it is ok whatever that decision might be, as long as it is a conscious one.
You might feel you don’t belong in your job.
Sure, it puts food on the table and keeps a roof over your head, and with the economy the way it is, you should probably feel grateful for having a job at all, but you wonder...
- Could you find another job where you will be able to deploy your talents and even discover new ones?
- Could you get up every morning and actually be paid well to do what you absolutely love?
- Or Could you make it on your own? Could you take the leap and be your own boss?
A part of you thinks you could. A part of you thinks you would be great at it. A part of you believes doing anything less would be a waste of your life.
But that’s the problem: it’s only a part.
The rest of you thinks that quitting your job is not an option. It worries about looking like a loser, being homeless, or ruining your child’s life. “Be rational,” it says. “Who are you to want so much? Just be happy with what you’ve got.”
And so you end up in knots, tossing and turning at four in the morning as the two sides battle within you. Which one is telling the truth? Which one is lying?
You just can’t tell, and the uncertainty of it is driving you crazy...
How do I know? Well, I know, because I have been there.
I’ve always been the financial provider in my family, supporting it to live what others would appreciate as a great life- usually in material terms. But one day, about 14 years ago, I knew I wanted more.
I had noticed that what I loved most about my work as a corporate person was working with other people. Mentoring and supporting them in doing their best work. And this is how my personal coaching business was born.
With no guarantees, I should have stayed at my previous job, right? Only that I could not. There was an inner voice telling me to move on.
Thus, I built my new career with full devotion, studying, writing, preparing myself for years, filling nothing but gratitude for the gift I was giving to myself.
And when I started helping other people and receiving feedback of the effective support I was providing, I knew it was all worth it and that I was on the right path.
Quite frankly, it’s painful to feel like your dreams are drifting away while you’ve got a family to support, and if you’re like me, you’ll try to convince yourself that your dreams really aren’t worth the risks.
Until you see your life for what it really is, an opportunity for Joy, Contribution and Growth.
You have to get to that point where you believe that you will regret a risk you don’t take, more than any loss you could suffer. And then, your journey to freedom and purpose will begin.
So, If we all have the potential to follow our hearts and do our thing, why does it have to be so hard, to the point that it is discouraging?
That happens because your subconscious mind wants to keep you safe. That is the only thing that matters to it. That you continue to breath, even if you feel that your life is less than you would wish for.
For that subconscious mind, your survival is the only thing that counts, and your dreams are nothing more than a dangerous distraction.
But that doesn’t mean you have to believe it. The truth is, that is just another voice inside your head. You can view it as a trusted advisor who wants you to think about the risks involved before you do anything unconventional.
It’s prudent to listen to that voice, but you’re by no means obligated to obey it. In fact, challenging it on a regular basis is probably one of the best things you can do.
And how do you do that?
Establishing a dialogue with yourself. Engage with your inner self in a powerful conversation, asking the questions that makes you feel uncomfortable, that you are afraid to ask, because they can lead you to a different, higher path.
Such questions could be:
- Am I living the life of my desires?
- How much time have I truly invested in creating that life?
- What is that I need to change in myself, to start moving with joy and freedom towards my desire?
- Am I ready to do what it takes to get there?
- What is the first step I could take right now, to change what is not working for me anymore?
- What is the second step?
- And the third?
Engage yourself in a productive dialogue and I promise you’ll receive good answers. In fact, you know you’re asking a good question by the quality of your answer. If you don’t like the answer, change the question! The point is to free up the voice of your passion and determination, and tone down the voice of your fears.
How you can do that?
Think in full honesty of your worst-case scenario. Do not let it be an abstract threat, make it concrete and founded upon arguments. And whilst doing it, ask yourself when you will be able to face it. In 2 months? 6 month? A year? Or two?
Look in the face at what you are most afraid of, and decide which one is going to win – it or your desires.
Even if your fear is terrifying, it is never a good reason to abandon your dreams. You should acknowledge that there is always something you could do to make it better, right? Just plan for ways to deal with it, and remember, it is just a possibility.
And once you have done it, concentrate and focus your efforts in the other possibilities. Those that bear the fruit of your passion, of your joy, of your fulfillment. What is your best case scenario? And then, also plan for it.
The good news is that you’re on your path for a reason.
The world doesn’t need more people waiting to at the end of the day to numb themselves with alcohol or TV or shopping.
We need you to fulfill your purpose and become truly alive.
So challenge those voices of “reason” inside your head. Plan for how you are going to get out of your worst-case scenario and how you are going to conquer your best-case scenario.
And no matter what, never stop believing in yourself, because regardless of what anyone says, you can live the life of your dreams.
Nicole Mantzikopoulou, January 2019